As a child, my piano teacher, an older spinster lady, was like a second
mother to me. Although she might have taught better piano technique, she
instilled the love of music. To this day I think of her when
"phrase-shaping", planning "dynamics", or trying to bring forth the overall
inner meaning of a piece of music. She taught understanding and
expressivity, along with scales and theory.
Upon completion of high school, I was given a scholarship by an anonymous
benefactor to the Aspen Summer School of Music. The teacher assigned to
me, who shall go nameless, cut students down psychologically, belittled
their former teacher(s), attempted to make her students cry in her studio,
presumably to "break them" to her will in order to make progress, etc.,
etc. BAD APPROACH! I, at the tender age of 17, refused to give her the
satisfaction of crying in her presence, but wept in private afterwards.
The result was that I thought I was no good, not a musician, not someone
who should ever consider music as a career. Like several of you, I
developed an intense fear of performing for others, especially of
auditioning and test-taking. So I left the field and became a biologist. I
enjoyed science and am not sorry I pursued it in college. However,the
choice was due in part to my terrible music experience but also to family
pressure from a family that had survived the war years and believed that
all women need to be able to make a living--certainly they thought there
would be no secure future in the arts, heaven forbid. Arts for pleasure,
sure, but never as a career! So between the Aspen experience and the
family attitude, I attempted, and to some degree succeeded, in studying to
become someone whom I was not.
It wasn't until 7 years had gone by, during which I had worked in science
awhile, got married, had a child, that I began to realize that music indeed
was inside me and was dying to get out. Amazing it was to me to realize
that I had always sung, even during the 7 years rejecting the piano. So I
began voice lessons. Everyone else chuckled and thought I was "off on
another whim". Fortunately, I found a teacher who was affirming. As my
husband's career took us to other communities, I found other good teachers
in other locations. Finally back in Madison, I was able to return to the
University for the degree in music with a professor who was particularly
adept at helping shy and injured students gain strength and confidence.
Thanks to the teachers who truly helped me.
After the second college career, I took private piano lessons with a dear
and very fine lady for another 3 years who corrected my technical
deficiencies with knowledge and kindness.
About the same time, lo and behold, harp came into my life. I attempted to
teach myself. After all, I now had a music degree, performance experience,
etc.; it would be a "piece of cake", I thought. Guess what? Even though I
was motivated, even though I used Sylvia's book, I was so distracted by
life's responsibilities (had 4 children by then), that I couldn't set goals
and accomplish something. There were constant interruptions. Weeks would go
by and I would be no further along. This, of course, is where we all are
different--but I found I NEEDED weekly lessons--one of my own little
character flaws, I suppose-- but I needed those lessons, in part to be able
to claim from my beloved family the time I needed for practice in order to
prepare next week's lesson! And again I was fortunate enough to find a
wonderful harp teacher. Stayed with her nine years! Every week, Sept -
June! She used much of the vocabulary Tina recommended, whether it was
consciously practiced or not, I don't know. But she would always, very
briefly, say just the right thing to put me at ease, while still
maintaining high standards. When I asked how long it would take to become
proficient on harp, she asked "How long do you have?". When I had bad
weeks where I was unable to prepare adequately, she said "Come to the
lesson anyway, we'll sight read, or explore new literature, or do some
duets or shared practice". If I was nervous, carrying around excess old
baggage, she said it's OK to make a mistake, etc, etc, etc.
Well, friends, now I can finally and honestly say I'm a musician and a
darned good harper. I'm not afraid anymore, although I still resist
competition. I actually have a CAREER. Small though it may be, I do earn
income from music-- performing locally and recently released a recording.
And guess what? I teach! As part of that career in music! Tell that to
the bad teacher at Aspen! Tell that to family members with myopic
attitudes. Of course, times were different--I'll always repect the
hardship my parents experienced during and after wartime. Present times are
better for artists.
As to the old saw "those who can't, teach"--that is not true for ALL
teachers. Some of us love teaching, are very good at it and,in my case,
have a gift for teaching precisely because of the difficulties we have
encountered and SURMOUNTED along the way. No, I've never taken college
methods classes. No, I have never taught just from someone else's
textbook. Yes, I do learn from others' textbooks, etc., but I also invent
and create according to students' needs. Each student is approached anew,
building on my now extensive knowledge and experience, of course, but
always with the heart and soul aware, open, ready and able to adjust as the
student's needs, personality and love for music enfold. And I really do
know my instruments--loved Howard's comparison of music teaching to flight
instruction, where no teacher would be who didn't already fly competently.
I do know from experience the difference between good and bad teaching.
Always honest, kind, encouraging and affirming, I try to give students
knowledge, skill and psychological support. Serving as "guide", I expect
students to "take the lead", facilitate the students' action toward the
desired goal, encourage self-expression and creativity.
It breaks my heart to learn of Barbara's sad musical experiences. As you
have read, I relate intimately with that from my own life. Also, a number
of my adult students, both singers and harpesr, have told me similar
stories of music-psychological injuries in childhood. I agree with Barbara
that arts education in the schools needs to be greatly improved. I agree
with Warren that GOOD teaching is helpful, especially at the start. I
agree with Lauren, that we are each different and have different
personalities, backgrounds, needs and approaches. Maybe some of us will do
better without going to teachers. We must first be our own teachers and,
as Tina says, become empowered in our own development, with or without the
help of teachers. It would be far better to train oneself, than to
experience a bad teacher. And I would be the first to say that, if you go
to a teacher who doesn't measure up, stop. And keep looking for someone
else or go it alone. Attend workshops, go to harp conventions, form
playing circles, etc. Read. Listen. Hear concerts.
No, Barbara, I'll never get rich. However, I do NEED to EARN SOMETHING from
performing and teaching and now also, hopefully, from some recording sales.
So I hope you don't think I'm biased in favor of harpers taking lessons
only because of that financial requirement. I'm trying to look at this as
objectively as possible. Hope the above 2 cents worth is of help.
Rolliana Scheckler